Remember when being asked out on a date involved a crowded bar, loud music, sweaty dancing, and the magnetic eye contact of a stranger? Yeah, neither do I.
Although lockdown was nearly a year and a half ago, we can’t totally blame covid restrictions for the lack of human interaction or excitement of dating someone new. Who’s to blame? Dating in the digital space. With countless dating app profiles, swipes, matches, and pointless conversations, our potential partners have become disposable.
Now, what do I mean by disposable? Sounds harsh, but let’s face it, we have never met this person in real life. We are judging them off of a curated profile which only hints to a small percentage of their real life. We base our opinions on messages that are not even complete sentences, and we have no real connection with them in the real world. Therefore, never meeting them or ever answering their last message isn’t odd, but rather the norm, because these characters ‘live in our phone’. Whereas in the real world, it would be quite difficult to get away with physically walking away from a face-to-face conversation or ignoring someone’s advances who’s standing right in front of you.
So, yes, this is the problem posed, but what is the solution? In my world, dating apps have become my main source of finding eligible bachelors in my journey to find love. But, how do I avoid the endless chatter and boredom of a new match? I have a seven-day rule: For any potential partner, I must meet this person, in-person, within the first week of matching with them. This not only gets me a face-to-face interaction with my digital match to see if we vibe or if the banter is on point, but also takes this person out of the digital space and inputs them into my physical world, where I can get a real feel for how this person may potentially fit in my life.
Now not every date I go on is a homerun in the game of love, but sometimes I meet a new friend, new golf buddy, learn slash do something new…or it’s a complete bust.
But what if my dating app match doesn’t ask me out within the first week? Honestly, I ‘dispose’ of them. A digital pen pal does not fit into my schedule. No hard feelings, the digital dating space is a harsh virtual reality.
Christiana Maxion is the dating guru behind ‘Dating in Dubai’: an expat exposé on the real life dating stories of singles in the Middle East. Follow her journey as a 32 year-old native New Yorker looking for love in the ‘land of sand’ via the ‘Dating in Dubai’ podcast, as well as, her self-named YouTube, Instagram & TikTok @christiana.maxion
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